#message!

So, Kim Kardashian got a divorce from Kris Humphries. *clutching my pearls* I’m shocked! I just knew that they married for love! And the money they made on their televised wedding was just a perk that came along with marrying the person of your dreams!

… Okay, so, if you  relate to anything I wrote above, just stop reading now ’cause you’re an idiot! Kim is a dimwitted “celebrity” clearly being pimped by her mom/madame! Poor thing, she didn’t stand a chance. The second her mom realized that she, or her sisters, were remotely interesting to an audience, she started to put in work to ensure that the whole family could get fed off their shenanigans.

Apparently, Kim’s fans are in an uproar about her short-lived marriage to Humphries, saying that they “cheapened” the institution of marriage. But are they really surprised? I mean, this IS the same woman who got famous ’cause she recorded her seksi times with Brandy’s Brother, no? And you’re surprised that her actions might cast a negative light on marriage? Seriously?

C’mon, son.

Lemme put you on to something – the new synonym for “cheap” is “Kardashian”.

On the same day Kimmy Kakes filed for divorce, Jessica Simpson announced she was preggers by some NFL player she’s been dating. I remember the Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson reality show. They were the “Newlyweds” and they were in love. Part of their schtick was that Jess had saved her goodies for her wedding night. And Nick’s excuse for trading-in his bachelor card was that he gets to “bleep” Jessica Simpson every night. But, then, Nick and Jess went to Splitsville, population: 2. And Nick was linked to Vanessa Minillo and Jess was alone. Then, Jess started banging Romo and eventually ended up with some NFL bench-rider. Purportedly, they got engaged and now she’s preggers.

Soooo, lemme get this straight, girl. You skipped sex til you were mid-20s so your hubby would be the first to sex you. Then, you get a divorce, bang a couple pros only to end up fertilized out of wedlock?!

Mmmkay. Makes total sense, boo!

You should’ve just given it up to the first dude that set your loins ablaze — like the rest of us! ;)

I’d like to believe that Jess is just a victim and that nobody gets married intending to get a divorce. Unless, of course, your name is Kardashian. :)

Moral of the story: reality stars live in an alternate reality! And, as such, they should NOT be considered role models. I hope we all had this message memorized prior to Kim and Jessica’s shenanigans. But, in case we didn’t memorize the lesson prior to all this nonsense, take note… #MESSAGE!

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